It's been a loooong time since I have posted on this blog...as a matter of fact, I had actually forgotten where it was. I found it by accident, while looking for the best site to set up a new blog!
In the years since I last posted, a lot has happened, changes of all sorts have come about in my life, some gradual, and more others abrupt and sudden and even shocking to some (including myself).
While talking with a good friend about the possibility of blogging again, and the reasons I was considering it, namely the hope that perhaps someone else that was having some of the same questions, doubts, fears, hopes, etc. that I have would benefit from the sharing of my experiences and thoughts, one of the phrases he used was "it would be a starting point" for others to feel at ease about their particular situations and not think that it's "wrong" to feel a certain way about life, and all of its facets, complications and mysteries.
And that's how the "Starting Point" title came about!
My intent is to be as fiercely honest, brief and relevant as possible in each post (Thank you, Jason Morris!).
It may make some uncomfortable, it may make me uncomfortable to share some things, but I've come to a point of honesty and transparency with myself, that I am both at odds with and at the same time deeply comforted by.
At odds with perhaps because of my traditional upbringing, and having been steeped in the traditional concepts of "right and wrong" in such a black and white and totally inflexible way.
Comforted by, because I've found a great measure of Peace in the "not knowing". More on that later...
In the first few posts, I hope to share, bit by bit, what led up to the catharsis or crossroads that I currently find myself in. It won't be perfect writing, and it may be a bit disjointed at first, but I'm hoping that my love of writing, and of expressing thoughts that may be challenging, but at the same time, hopefully uplifting and encouraging as well, will take over and this will become a fluid process. Bear with me, if you will...
For reference, here is a short list of some of the books that have been important to me in the last few years:
1- The Shack - Wm. Paul Young (this one kicked the entire process off, I'm pretty sure!)
2- The Joy In Loving - Mother Teresa
3- Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller
4- The Myth of a Christian Religion
5- Leaving Church - Barbara Brown Taylor
6- So You Don't Want To Go To Church Anymore - Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman
7- The Five Levels of Attachment - Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr.
8- The Clowns of God - Morris West (novel)
9- Shantaram - Gregory David Roberts (novel)
10- Zen Confidential (Confessions of a Wayward Monk) - Shozan Jack Haubner
12- Living Buddha, Living Christ - Thich Nhat Hanh
13- Start Where You Are - Pema Chodron
14- Everything Belongs - Fr. Richard Rohr (currently reading)
15- How To Be Here - Rob Bell (currently reading)
I said "short list", didn't I? Well, I read a lot. As often as I have time and concentration available!
Let me just go ahead and warn you in advance; if the titles of some of the books, or the fact that some of the authors are not "christian" and espouse other philosophies offends you, you may want to reconsider reading my future blogs! (How's that for selling myself?!)
But if you aren't afraid of open thought, and don't mind challenging some of the ideas and mindsets that may raise questions in your own mind, please read on. We may ALL learn a thing or two!
I'm not portraying myself as some kind of "guiding light", in fact, some would say that at this point in my life I am more messed up than I have ever been, and they may be right! But one thing is certain, I am the most honest that I've ever been at any point in my life, and that alone has brought me the greatest sense of Peace.
Spoiler: the biggest single event that "pushed me over the edge" was the realization that for my entire life, I had embraced a set of beliefs and philosophies simply because I was told that they were what I should believe. The smell of fire and brimstone swirled around any variance from this set of beliefs.
It has taken me 57 years to realize that I had no personal beliefs on God, humanity, sexuality, purpose, eternity, et al. I dutifully believed everything I was told to believe, and feared questing and probing beyond, because I somehow felt that doing so would only lead to straying from "The Path".
What I am discovering is that I am on The Path...it's called Life, and it's a Journey, and every bit of it is relevant. The parts that are beautiful, and pleasant, and joyful, as well as the parts that are ugly, and unpleasant and sorrowful...every single moment of it is relevant and important, and it is ours to experience. (end of spoiler)
I'll close this blog with a quote from "Everything Belongs":
"The greatest barrier to the next level
of conscience or consciousness is
our comfort and control at the one we are at now."
Until next time...Peace.
