Starting Point - Part I

April 29, 2016

It's been a loooong time since I have posted on this blog...as a matter of fact, I had actually forgotten where it was. I found it by accident, while looking for the best site to set up a new blog!

In the years since I last posted, a lot has happened, changes of all sorts have come about in my life, some gradual, and more others abrupt and sudden and even shocking to some (including myself).

While talking with a good friend about the possibility of blogging again, and the reasons I was considering it, namely the hope that perhaps someone else that was having some of the same questions, doubts, fears, hopes, etc. that I have would benefit from the sharing of my experiences and thoughts, one of the phrases he used was "it would be a starting point" for others to feel at ease about their particular situations and not think that it's "wrong" to feel a certain way about life, and all of its facets, complications and mysteries.
And that's how the "Starting Point" title came about!

My intent is to be as fiercely honest, brief and relevant as possible in each post (Thank you, Jason Morris!).
It may make some uncomfortable, it may make me uncomfortable to share some things, but I've come to a point of honesty and transparency with myself, that I am both at odds with and at the same time deeply comforted by.
At odds with perhaps because of my traditional upbringing, and having been steeped in the traditional concepts of "right and wrong" in such a black and white and totally inflexible way.
Comforted by, because I've found a great measure of Peace in the "not knowing". More on that later...

In the first few posts, I hope to share, bit by bit, what led up to the catharsis or crossroads that I currently find myself in. It won't be perfect writing, and it may be a bit disjointed at first, but I'm hoping that my love of writing, and of expressing thoughts that may be challenging, but at the same time, hopefully uplifting and encouraging as well, will take over and this will become a fluid process. Bear with me, if you will...

For reference, here is a short list of some of the books that have been important to me in the last few years:

1- The Shack - Wm. Paul Young (this one kicked the entire process off, I'm pretty sure!)
2- The Joy In Loving - Mother Teresa
3- Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller
4- The Myth of a Christian Religion
5- Leaving Church - Barbara Brown Taylor
6- So You Don't Want To Go To Church Anymore - Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman
7- The Five Levels of Attachment - Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr.
8- The Clowns of God - Morris West (novel)
9- Shantaram - Gregory David Roberts (novel)
10- Zen Confidential (Confessions of a Wayward Monk) - Shozan Jack Haubner
12- Living Buddha, Living Christ - Thich Nhat Hanh
13- Start Where You Are - Pema Chodron
14- Everything Belongs - Fr. Richard Rohr (currently reading)
15- How To Be Here - Rob Bell (currently reading)

I said "short list", didn't I? Well, I read a lot. As often as I have time and concentration available!

Let me just go ahead and warn you in advance; if the titles of some of the books, or the fact that some of the authors are not "christian" and espouse other philosophies offends you, you may want to reconsider reading my future blogs! (How's that for selling myself?!)
But if you aren't afraid of open thought, and don't mind challenging some of the ideas and mindsets that may raise questions in your own mind, please read on. We may ALL learn a thing or two!

I'm not portraying myself as some kind of "guiding light", in fact, some would say that at this point in my life I am more messed up than I have ever been, and they may be right! But one thing is certain, I am the most honest that I've ever been at any point in my life, and that alone has brought me the greatest sense of Peace.

Spoiler: the biggest single event that "pushed me over the edge" was the realization that for my entire life, I had embraced a set of beliefs and philosophies simply because I was told that they were what I should believe. The smell of fire and brimstone swirled around any variance from this set of beliefs.

It has taken me 57 years to realize that I had no personal beliefs on God, humanity, sexuality, purpose, eternity, et al. I dutifully believed everything I was told to believe, and feared questing and probing beyond, because I somehow felt that doing so would only lead to straying from "The Path".
What I am discovering is that I am on The Path...it's called Life, and it's a Journey, and every bit of it is relevant. The parts that are beautiful, and pleasant, and joyful, as well as the parts that are ugly, and unpleasant and sorrowful...every single moment of it is relevant and important, and it is ours to experience. (end of spoiler)

I'll close this blog with a quote from "Everything Belongs":

"The greatest barrier to the next level

 of conscience or consciousness is

 our comfort and control at the one we are at now."

Until next time...Peace.

NOMAS PORQUE YO DIJE!

NOMAS PORQUE YO DIJE!

Esas son palabras que escuché muchas veces de niño.  Cuando mis padres se incomodaban con la pregunta, no tenian la respuesta, no tenian tiempo para responder, o quizas se sentian amenazados por la pregunta, la respuesta siempre era “nomas porque yo dije”. Al llegar a cierta edad, simplemente dejé de preguntar!

Temo que hemos transferido esa misma mentalidad a la Iglesia, y a la “autoridad” en la Iglesia.  Sucede que esta surgiendo ahora una generación de aquellos quienes aspiramos a ser seguidores de Jesus en nuestro diario vivir que nos atrevemos a hacer preguntas que quizas parecen amenazar el “status quo” de lo que se conoce como la Iglesia establecida.

Las preguntas pueden ser variadas y tomar diferentes rumbos (un ejemplos serian el tema de la homosexualidad y porque toma un papel tan central, a diferencia de otros pecados). Mi intención no es dirigirme a los temas de las preguntas, sino al mismo hecho de que se nos hace pensar que el hacer las preguntas es pecado en sí!

En primer lugar, por un lado se nos enseña que Dios es Soberano, Todopoderoso, Omnisciente, y todos los demas Omnis que le corresponden, mientras que por otro lado se nos dice que no debemos cuestionarlo por temor a que su Ira caiga sobre nosotros por ser incrédulos, etc.

Incluso hace dias leí por ahi que el temor y la duda son pecados! Y yo que siempre pense que eran emociones y sentimientos humanos! Como es posible creer que Dios nos creó con todos estos sentimientos y emociones, y a la vez creer que es pecado ejercitarlos? O acaso creemos que somos solo piezas en un juego de ajedrez celestial, meros monitos con los que Dios se entretiene?

Si El nos dio emociones, mente, voluntad, deseos, es para que los ejercitemos! Si mantenemos la perspective correcta, ninguna pregunta es necia o incorrecta. Si mi Corazón quiere conocerlo mas a El, entonces a veces tengo que hacer preguntas dificiles. No siempre me va a agradar la respuesta, y quizas no siempre haya respuesta inmediata, pero El anhela relación con nosotros, y en lo personal creo que le encanta tener hijos inquisitivos!

El momento que dejamos de usar nuestras emociones, nuestra mente y nuestra voluntad, entonces nos convertimos en autómatas.

Te has fijado que la mayoría de las veces que se predica algun juicio en contra de un pecado específico, se usa un verso o pasaje del Antiguo Testamento? Y a la vez, cuando queremos predicar Gracia y Perdón, tenemos el hábito de ir principalmente al Nuevo Testamento…hmmmm. Hemos llegado a usar la Biblia como una especie de “Constitución”, o “Manual”, cuando realmente es una compilación de relatos, anécdotas, historia, poesía, canciones, etc que quieren comunicar el deseo del Padre de tener una relación con nosotros.

Es interesante para mi que la Biblia nunca se refiere a si misma como la “Palabra de Dios”. La unica “Palabra” (en español dice “Verbo”) de Dios mencionada en la Biblia es Jesus!

La misma Biblia enseña que somos salvos no por el “libro”, sino por toda palabra que procede de la boca de Dios…Habrá Dios cesado de hablar?

Te ofrezco solo la propuesta de que hemos dejado de cuestionar, o aceptar preguntas, simplemente porque no se encuentran en el “libro”, cuando el que esta importunándonos con las preguntas puede ser el mismo Espiritu de Dios.

Que hacemos con las preguntas y dudas que surgen como resultado de nuestra cultura, que es totalmente diferente a la cultura de tiempos bíblicos? Que hacemos con aquellos que luchan con su relación con el Padre, no porque EL los rechaze, pero porque ellos se sienten rechazados por EL, debido a lo que han recibido de parte de Sus hijos…

Me pregunto donde pasaría Jesus la mayoría de su tiempo si estuviera entre nosotros en el año 2011; en nuestros “templos”, que son dedicados al “servicio” de El, o en las calles, entre los menos afortunados, los que profesan no tener Dios, o quizás entre los que padecen alguna enfermedad a raíz de su comportamiento social. Estaría en primera fila en la Primera Iglesia de Que Se Yo en tu ciudad el domingo por la mañana, o estaria debajo de un Puente sosteniendole la cabeza a un borracho indigente que esta a punto de morir?

Se presentaría Jesus en alguno de los tantos programas de Televisión “Cristiana”, ayudando a recaudar mas fondos para que puedan alcanzar mas países para “El”? O estaría EN esos países, limpiando las moscas de la cara de un niño muerto de hambre, mientras trata de lograr que ese mismo niño consuma un poco de alimento…

Es importante que entiendas que estas son preguntas con las que YO lucho en esta etapa de mi vida. Es demasiado fácil vivir día a día, aceptando lo que creemos que es nuestro lugar en la vida. En lo personal he sentido una inquietud de despertar hambre, de conocer a mi Padre de una manera mas personal y REAL, sin todos los adornos de la “hiper” espiritualidad. Si me atrevo a decirlo, no creo que el Padre necesita del cristianismo para darse a conocer…

No pienses en El como el Papá del “nomás porque yo dije”, piensa mas bién que está encantado de que le expreses tus inquietudes, deseos y preguntas, le encantan los hijos inquisitivos!

Como te irás dando cuenta, la mayoría de mis pensamientos te van a dejar con más preguntas que respuestas!

Agradezco de antemano la atención de tu lectura, y cualquier comentario, bienvenido!

Thoughts of a Weary Jester...

What is the problem?

At the risk of slipping into my “Walter Matthau” mode, I really wonder what is going on in the world today!

It seems like things like common courtesy, common sense, and just everyday common kindness have become extremely Uncommon…

From the way people drive, to the hurry we are all in, to the way our schedules drive us, it seems like we have lost control over what life is really supposed to be all about! I’m not interjecting religious references here on purpose (ie. Life is about Serving God, serving others, etc), because it seems like we fall back on those clichés and end up right back where we started!

It seems like our “smart” devices (phones, ipads, etc) have taken us over. You can’t go anywhere without seeing  80 percent of everyone around you on their phone, either texting, checking Facebook or Twitter, talking (usually loud enough for me to be involved in their conversation whether I want to or not!), or doing whatever else is possible on the device.

We don’t even need real books anymore, apparently, since we can either read them on the iPad, Kindle or Nook. 

It seems to me that there is a set of core values that have disappeared simultaneously with the appearance of all of our smart technology.

When was the last time you picked up a physical book (you can’t replace the feel of pages turning in your hands as you read, or “dog earing” them to mark your place!), wrote a letter (with your pen, on actual paper-emails don’t count!)When was the last time you looked at someone who was passing you in a car and smiled, or waved at someone who was coming towards you in another vehicle, just for the pleasure of that brief human contact?For that matter, when was the last time you CALLED someone and had an actual conversation with them (as opposed to texting a “how r u?”).

We have developed a carapace of protection against contact with others, unless they fit our criteria, circle, interests, etc…can we find it in ourselves to break out of it? Can we get back to handshakes, pats on the back and hugs again? Or are we so afraid that in our “PC” society and world someone may misinterpret our intention?  I am just as guilty as the rest, my driving is impatient, I find myself checking FB too often, and I watch more television than I need to, but personally, I want to get back to the place where I would rather read a book, listen to a record (yes, the kind you have to put the needle on, the kind that spins around at 33 1/3 rpm), wave at someone, or try that smile on the “frowner” in front of me at the grocery store. I would like to be the inveterate “hugger” at the risk of someone thinking I’m weird because I like human contact…how about you? This isn’t finished, but maybe this little blurb will help you and I think about it next time we have that brief opportunity to be “the milk of human kindness”…more later!

First one...

Hey all,

This is just a test...I will start posting by the middle of this week, or early next at the latest!

Peace to all!

GW